Gotta love Mondays..

I finally have it figured out. I know what it really is, how it really works. Part of me wishes I wouldn't have had to figure it out this way. But then again, now I know everything that could have possibly happened..Could have gone wrong. Every thing has it's own unique distinctions. Their own energies. Every living thing has a unique way of expressing itself. I guess that's just how that needed to be expressed. ... so confusing. 

I'm still not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I figured it out. I wish I could still live in the world where no one dies painfully, where people don't hurt each other, and where relationships last forever. It's not bliss that comes from ignorance, it's danger. 

Brain, Please stop playing that over and over again in my head. I didn't want it to happen in the first place, what makes you think I want to watch it again. Thanks.   <3/ Me

There's truth behind every "Just kidding".

Being your punching bag helped you express how you were really feeling. I get that. It needed to happen because I wanted..I needed to know how you were feeling. I feel like i'm supposed to take it because of what I did to you. I know I suck,okay?  But I can't help but shake the feeling that that wasn't right. I feel (selfishly enough) that I still deserve to be respected. I can't let myself be happy because I can only imagine how much pain I caused you. You have the right to do whatever. Right? I think I handled it pretty well. On the outside.